5th, 6th, 7th & 8th June 2015

18. Jun, 2015

Friday

For 5 seconds this morning, when i woke up I forgot i had cancer!

Then it smacked me in the face again like only cancer can. Today i decided i wasn't going to hide the fact that i had this shitty disease, and because Facebook is something i use regular i decided to put a brief, simple status on there, it read.....

"I want to thank all my amazing family and friends for your love and support following my diagnosis yesterday, with love and support from you lot, i will beat this!! Also my brilliant new work colleagues who already feel like old friends! Thanks a lot guys!! xxx

So a little vague maybe, but i knew the genuine people who cared would message me and then i could reply if i wanted them to know,

yeah after my phone went crazy all day, i have established that i have some amazing friends and i will definately not lack support!

It was this day too i decided to write this blog, every website gives you loads of information but its all very medical and technical, even though i'm a nurse, i'd rather have a no nonsense, no bullshit approach to things, especially Cancer!!

 

Saturday

Oh my god, i move in 3 weeks, will possibly have major surgery in that time and i've not packed a thing!!

Collected some boxes from my old work place, then my "practical" mum dragged me to the fair with my girls, now i was adamant that i didn't want to go, but mother knows best cos i had a really good day! Then home and Mum packed all the play room and painted it too!

Sunday

TODAY IS A BAD DAY!!!!

This is the first time since Thursday i've actually felt sorry for myself, but today i'm doing sod all, i'm having a sofa day and swimming in a big pool of self pity!

sadly it was Rich who caught the brunt of this pity party i was having, but he simply hugged me when i needed it, kept his mouth closed and the little he did say was somehow the right thing to say!

Monday

ANOTHER BAD DAY!!!!!

Jesus Christ Lindzi, pull yourself together!

Cancer has this ability to get everywhere, it affects everything, it constantly sits in your head saying haha fuck you, i've taken over!  

i can't be bothered to get dressed, i can't be bothered to shower, i can't be bothered to look after my girls (Don't call childline, Richard is here with me) all i'm doing is listening to that cancer in me!

I just can't be bothered FULL STOP

Then Kaye came round, dragged my sorry ass out of my dressing gown,drowned out the cancer's voice and we went to hers to get practical with my finances!