The day i'd been dreading
So results day.....
Sat in Mr Ghosh's office, thinking oh dear god, my heart beating out of my chest, with sweaty palms and a sweaty right armpit cos i daren't put deodrant on it today as it's still too sore!
Mr Ghosh said.....
" Lindzi, i'm very aware that you want a double mastectomy, but..."
"NOOOOO Mr Ghosh don't give me a but, i want these boobs of mine off!"
ok so he continued.... "but, i have to tell you the risks of surgery, but i know you know all this been a nurse. So basically, i'm going to give you what you want, so a double mastectomy, and some lovely looking breasts!"
Oh My Days..... "Mr Ghosh, i could kiss you!!!
Right now, let's discuss the cancer,
So the type of cancer cells you have are non-invasive (not likely to spread), they are contained to that particular area of your breast (where the lump is) and hopefully not in your lymph nodes (find that out next Thursday after yesterday's biopsies) but from the MRI scan, i'm quite confident that the lymph nodes are clear.
I'm thinking, this is good, let's go to surgery now and get it over and done with.
He continues to explain to me that, once i've had surgery i may need to still have chemotherapy but that's more to be cautious than anything else. (That's fine, do what you gotta do to get rid of this shitty disease) Then he explains the operation and exactly what he's going to do.....
1. remove the breast tissue and nipples (from both boobs)
2. Use muscles from my back and put them in to my breast erm area?!
3. Remove a few nodes to send for testing.
4. Insert an implant (that's going to be pumped up with saline every week - Pamela Anderson springs to mind!
5. Give me a nice nip and tuck.
6. Create a nipple well a nipple ish (have to have them coloured and tattoed at a later date)
And after all that i think he can go home and relax!
I'll be on the operating table for about 7 hours but Mr Ghosh says i'm young and fit and it will be no problem to me!
We will cross lymph nodes and chemo when we get to that but for now......
I'm going to get a lovely pair of titties and evict this shitty life ruining disease!!!!
So surgery date is either......
26th June 2015 or 3rd July, i'll find out for definate next Thursday when he has had chance to gather a team together.
As far as cancer goes if there is a good one to have, i have that one, as its not going to spread, its not invasive and its not staying in me for long!!!!!
p.s i mentioned toffee nose twat to Mr Ghosh and he was disgusted, he said he in nothing more than a miserable old git but he has told me to put a complaint in so that's my next plan of action...a strong worded letter for Mr Toffee Nose to reflect on!!!
It's 6pm and i'm now going to get my pj's on and for the first time since last Thursday i feel like i can relax and have a good sleep!!!