Well i actually woke up this morning feeling quite relaxed.
I think as humans we need a plan, whether its the daily routine of work or where we are going on a weekend, i know i do, i hate not knowing what i'm doing and now i feel like i do!
I said yesterday about cancer taking control, and my god it does, because even this morning, i woke up, and for a split second i'd forgot, but then it slapped me in the face again. It never leaves you, i'm also unable to shower properly now, because i feel like i can't look at these 2 pieces of flesh that is stuck on the front of me....
As far as i'm concerned the sooner they go the better!
I know yesterday i mentioned several times on here about my new boobs, and i don't want people to think that's all i'm bothered about, because while going through this i need something to focus on, and after hating my boobs for 12 years now, those new ones are going to be my light at the end of the tunnel!!!
I know a lot of women struggle to come to terms with the thoughts of a mastectomy and i can understand why, however, i'm not worried about the surgery at all (except the lovely catheter i'm going to be sporting!)
The part that does worry me is losing my hair if i have to have chemo, not because i think i'll look ugly (which i know i will) but it's more when other people see me, as in close family members and friends, because i know they are going to feel awkward and not know what to say to me....
Well DON'T be upset for me (If that times comes) I've said on here already that if i do have chemo i'm going to donate my hair to the little princesses trust and a child cn have my long blonde locks!
I have got to go to the Town Hall today to fight an appeal for Taya's school admission, the school they have given me wasn't my first or even second choice, so at 11am Rich and I are up infront of a panel fighting for our daughters education! It's the last thing i needed today but, as someone once told me....
"It's no fun if it's easy Lindz!"
So again i'm off to kick some ass, I will update this as and when, but as far as treatment goes i've got no more appointments until Thursday 18th June now, so please check back and i'll keep you all updated.
Thanks again for all your support