8. Jul, 2015

Tomorrow's appointment

Evening campers,

Just sat thinking about tomorrow's appointment and hoping and praying it's good news.

Although the only news i've had this year so far has not been good!

Tomorrow is sentinal node/lymph node results, which basically determines if i have chemotherapy or not, i'm already thinking worse case scenario....i think i will have it, as it's better to give me a round and be 100% certain that the cancer has gone. Either way i know it's another thing that i have no control over but it's all what if's, but's and maybe's again!

Had a funny couple of days, think Mr Ghosh has turned me into an emotional wreck when he was hacking at me, i keep crying at the TV!!

I also keep crying uncontrollably at nothing, other than i'm in constant pain, can't do a great deal for myself and i'm feeling useless! My mum, sit's with me, let's me get it all out then we carry on doing what ever we were doing.

Speaking of my mum, i honestly don't know what i would have done without her, she has been fantastic, well apart from earlier today when she pulled my dressings off and nearly passed out!

I'm only taking paracetamol now, cos anything stronger was making me all woozy headed, and for someone who doesn't drink, feeling like i'd had 20 pints all the time was not good. The pain is constant, my entire top half is like one big tight knot and bruise, but at least my head is clear.

I'm not really sleeping much better either, but i know once i've healed i'll be able to have a decent nights sleep then rather than the cat naps i'm managing now.

Well apart from day time TV, puzzle books and the internet, i've not really done anything else for the past few days, so i'm going to go now and probably watch ANOTHER film.

i'll update you all tomorrow after my appointment.

Be Happy

Lindzi xxx