9. Jul, 2015

Mixed feelings

All along this shitty journey i have had to think worst case scenario, so today travelling to hospital i was thinking that i was going to have chemotherapy, more as a precaution really and then i know for good that this shitty disease is gone.

Well thinking it and being told it are 2 different things let me tell you......

so, i HAVE got to have chemotherapy - TAC chemotherapy - a combination of 3 drugs for 6 sessions every 3 weeks over an 18 week period

Then back into theatre for the expanders removing (day case - not as horrific as previous booby surgery) but surgery nevertheless. Can't have expanders in for radiotherapy.

Then a 5 week course of radiotherapy monday - friday for 5 weeks.

Aswell as having Ovarian suppression to stop my periods, and Tamoxifen (hormone therapy) think after that little lot, i'll have just about had enough of Weston Park hospital and be ready for some family time that doesn't involve me being the patient.

Yep, i'm going to lose my hair people, but like i've said before i'm going to donate it to the little princess's trust and make good use of these long locks.

I am accepting visitors, as its nice to see friendly faces, however, please don't walk in, gob on the floor, telling me how shit i look!

I KNOW ok, i'm not expecting to look a million dollars while going through the recovery of the surgery that i had less than 2 weeks ago, and the listed concoction being pumped into me, i am going to look SHIT, but please don't feel like you can't talk to me for fear of upsetting me, i'm tough.....i've accepted what's happening, i cry yes, for about 10 minutes, then look at my baby girls and man up!!!!

So just to clarify, my lymph nodes from surgery was clear, however because the cancerous tumour they removed was a massive 14cm they want to do everything they can to ensure that the little squatting bastard hasn't spread, meaning the strongest form chemo and radiotherapy is the best way forward.

My first clinic appointment at Weston Park is 29th July, then 31st July is first chemotherapy date, sadly exactly 1 week before Cobie's 13th birthday, but i have promised her she will still have a great time and next year we are going ALL out to make up for it been so crap this year.

Right it's been a long day, so i'm going to spend some time with my lovely family who are currently;

Mum - cleaning wheelie bin

Cobie - sat with me, spellchecking this blog

Lauren - hanging washing out

Nan & Rich - sorting out my BROKEN fridge freezer - i don't even care!

Grandad - watching television

Taya - playing in sandpit!

So......

Be Happy

Lindzi xxx