So everyone knows having cancer is HUGE it effects everything and every part of your life, i'm sat here reading the leaflets the hospital gave me for all the chemo, radiotherapy, hormone therapy and ovarian suppression i'm about to have wondering how after all the side effects have taken over me, how the hell am i going to come out the other side of this!?
Chemo side effects
Bruising & Bleeding
Build up of fluid
Numb or tingling hands or feet
Changes to how my kidneys and liver work
Muscle and/or joint pain
Radiotherapy side effects
Swelling of the breasts
Pain in the breast area
Tiredness and fatigue
Hair loss in armpit area
Change in breast shape, size and colour
Tamoxifen (hormone) side effects
Menopausal symptoms - hot flushes, night sweats and sleep disturbances, mood changes
Ovarian suppression side effects
Early menopause - injection will stop my periods.
So i know i may not experience all of these but i should imagine any of these during the treatment is horrific.
I am more scared of this next step of treatment that i was about having the surgery, at least in theatre i wasn't aware of anything.
So in short, my hair, nails, skin, mouth, kidneys, liver, ovaries, hands, feet and every other fucking body part i have is about to become cancer's bitch!!
I wonder what day the bailiff's are coming to take my property and car too, they might as well i have no control over anything else i own!!!!!
There's that word again...... CONTROL
On Thursday i was told......
Lindzi you are having chemo, radiotherapy, hormone therapy and ovarian suppression, now i know i need these to 100% get rid of this bastard cancer, but whoa hang on slow down give me a minute to get my head round this before you give me weston park dates etc.
The last bit of control i have is.....
The day i CHOOSE to get rid of my hair, i've said all along i'm going to donate it, and i SWEAR to god Cancer is not going to dictate when my lovely long blonde hair leaves me....
It's NOT going down my plughole and it's not going to affect how paople are with me!!!!!!
I am going to cut it off (well Kaye is) we are going to;
Plait it in sections
Cut it off
Shave my head
Send the hair to the Little Princess's trust
Probably CRY, CRY, CRY and CRY a bit more!
Then move onwards and upwards again until all the side effects kick in anyway!
If possible, i may organise a coffee and cake morning on the day i shave my head and raise money for research to cure this shitty bastard disease...
If people would be interested please drop me a line? But please be aware that i will be shaving my head that day too and it will be emotional!