3. Jan, 2017

Happy new year all, 

This year was gonna be my year, hmm until I went to see the plastic surgeon team tonight that was. 

So here's the shitty news - My boobs are that complicated to correct i've got to have another operation to have both the inplants removed....

HOWEVER, they have then got to stay out for possibly 6 months so all the scar tissue can heal properly before i have another operation to have some different inplants put in, which will have to be smaller in size to give them the best chance of sitting naturally. Then another operation to have nipple reconstruction done.

So as you can imagine i'm gutted, i now have to face the ordeal of having surgery and waking up with no breasts, it will be like having a double mastectomy all over again but this time i'll wake up flat chested and shall stay that way for possibly 6 months. 

Then face a further 2 operations and grin and bear my way through all that pain again!!!

SOOOOOOO pissed off right now, i'd just started to get my confidence back and dare to show them off and now i'm gonna lose them again. 

Do you remember right back at the beginning when i said about Cancer having all the control? Well i kicked it's arse and yet again i have no control, i could leave my boobs as they are, but they are no where near straight or natural looking and then i wouldn't be able to have nipple reconstruction so looks like this is my only option.

I've had a good cry, and tried to pull myself together but i think this time it may take a while longer, this is not vanity now this is the pyschological effects of waking up without boobs. 

Am i really strong enough to deal with this on top of everything i've already tackled???

Time will tell i guess, i've gotta go back to the plastic surgeons in 6 weeks time to get a definite plan. Until then....


Lindzi xxx